Sometimes You Should be Late
Summer 2026
A book about slowing down, remembering what matters, and choosing how to live out our values
My Psychology Today article of the same name sparked a wave of resonance — and plenty of pushback (“Aren’t you just justifying flakiness?!”). Since then, dozens of conversations have validated a belief that resisting the urgency culture is more than a challenge, it’s an opportunity to create the kinder, spacious, and caring world we all want.
Lets Slow Down…With Haste!
God willing, my book arrives in Summer 2026 but please don’t wait to slow down. Start now: care for yourself, linger with those around you, and remember that sometimes being late isn’t just okay… it may be the kinder choice!
Here are three tips from my article:
1. Build a Kindness Buffer. Plan to arrive five minutes early, or take something off your to-do list, to create room for presence. This is your kindness buffer: a margin that gives you the space to say hello to the barista, ask a real follow-up question or take a breath before a meeting.
We always say we’d be kind if we had the time. The kindness buffer is how you make the time.
2. Slow Down When You’re Already Late. You’re late. The meeting started. There’s no time machine. What should you do? Slow down.
Bear with me: The instinct is to speed up to atone for our sins but that almost always makes things worse. You spill your coffee, snap at someone, risk an accident or ticket as you speed through traffic.
You can’t choose to be on time, but you can still choose to be kind.
3. Own Your Lateness With Heart. Sometimes you’re late because something else mattered more. That’s not failure; it’s presence. Sure, apologize for the disruption. But don’t erase the care that made you late, even if it’s self-care.
If someone’s upset that you took a minute to be human, that might say more about them than you.